


Almost Like Before

by thesoundofnat



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 08:28:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5041228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s okay to break down,” were Remus’ first words when he saw the look Sirius was sporting.</p>
<p>Sirius shook his head. “I don’t want to. This place doesn’t deserve any more of my emotions.”</p>
<p>But of course he cried himself to sleep that very first night. And the night after. And the night after that. He was barely sleeping, and Remus confronted him about it as soon as he realized.</p>
<p>(Or, what happens when Sirius and Remus end up living together again after so many years of being apart?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost Like Before

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on my tumblr thesoundofnat.tumblr.com

Sirius didn’t known what to expect when Dumbledore told him that he was going to stay with Remus for the time being. He should’ve been happy. They’d stayed together before, and it had been some of the most fun years he’d ever had. He should’ve been excited to get one more chance at it.

But instead the anxiety almost ate him up.

Remus had spent 12 years thinking Sirius killed their best friends. All that resentment that had built up during those years would very unlikely disappear during a few months, despite the fact that Remus knew the truth now. They’d been writing to each other, while Sirius was on the run, but it was mostly weekly updates, checkups, and absolutely no word about their relationship. Sirius knew that those things couldn’t really be discussed through letters.

So when he was suddenly supposed to stay with his old friend and former lover, Sirius didn’t know if he could handle it.

The very moment he lay eyes on Remus he knew that he felt the same.

Sirius entered the shabby apartment, not a single item in his possession other than his too big jacket, and cast one look at Remus before doing what they always did when things got too hard. He started talking about something else.

They discussed Voldemort’s return and what it would mean to them all. They conversed about how brave Harry was, at just the age of fourteen. They touched on the subject of what a complete rat Peter was. They talked about so many things for so long that they ran out of things to say in the end, and once midnight struck and it was time for bed they had no other choice but to try to make some sort of arrangement.

“You can have my bed, if you want,” Remus offered. “I know you haven’t had a proper bed in years, so even my lumpy one will feel like heaven.”

“I don’t want to kick you out of bed,” Sirius said, shaking his head. “I can have the couch, don’t worry.”

“Sirius,” Remus said, almost sternly.

“Oh, don’t use that tone on me. You sound like you’re reprimanding me for not doing my homework.”

Remus snorted out a laugh, reminding Sirius about the many times he’d tried to stifle his amusement when Sirius or James made a particularly stupid joke.

In the end Remus forced Sirius to sleep on the bed (“you’re scary when you’re determined, Moony”), but what he didn’t know was that Sirius barely got any sleep at all that night. Everything around him smelled so much like Remus that he ached all over. Even though he was just a few room over Sirius felt as if he was miles away, like he’d been when Sirius was stuck in Azkaban.

Knowing that he was so close yet so far away was almost worse.

They stayed at Remus’ place for approximately one week before Dumbledore told them to move into Grimmauld Place, after Sirius had provided him with the information that it could be used as the headquarter for the Order of the Phoenix. They had managed to not mention “them” as a subject, but instead focused on trying to get the Order together. They were doing a pretty good job of not making things weird.

But the moment Sirius realized that he was now staying at the place he hated almost as much as Azkaban everything went downhill.

Remus noticed, of course. He always did. One of the reasons Sirius had been glad to not be the Secret Keeper back in the days was because he’d have a hell of a hard time keeping it from Remus.

“It’s okay to break down,” were Remus’ first words when he saw the look Sirius was sporting.

Sirius shook his head. “I don’t want to. This place doesn’t deserve any more of my emotions.”

But of course he cried himself to sleep that very first night. And the night after. And the night after that. He was barely sleeping, and Remus confronted him about it as soon as he realized.

Sirius thought he’d ask him how he felt, try to give some advice, and then leave it at that. How wrong he was.

On that fourth night in his old home he heard the door open, and he turned to find Remus standing in the doorway.

“Got room for one more?”

Remus looked oddly eerie in the darkness, but the familiarity of his stance, and the way he ran a hand through his hair made Sirius nod almost eagerly.

He hadn’t known what to expect when Dumbledore told him that he would be staying with Remus, and he certainly didn’t know what to expect when Remus crawled into his bed, like he’d done so many times a lifetime ago.

It was okay not to know what to expect, because you wouldn’t end up disappointed. Sirius actually ended up really really pleasantly surprised.

Kissing Remus after so many years was like a breath of fresh air after being underwater for far too long. Touching him, holding him, loving him. Those were things Sirius never thought he’d ever experience again.

He would have to thank Dumbledore the next time he saw him.


End file.
